Rainy Days & Adulting

*It’s been raining for almost a month now.  Not really non-stop but generally hits during critical times – leaving for work, going out for lunch break and coming home in the evening.  Normally, I love rain. I love the chill vibe it brings because it lets me stay indoors and read.  Such a relaxing treat to hear the pitter-patter of rain on the roof while I eat choco chip cookies and read my fave book.  However, I’ve been feeling down and tired the past weeks so raining make my days gloomier.

Not sure if this is just a phase or it’s something more.  I am tired. Dead tired.  I’d like to keep this online space cheery and oh-so-good so I’ve been holding back (that’s the reason for very few posts), but then there are days when things and feelings are hard and emotions run high.  Do I need a break? Maybe.  Do I need a long vacation? Maybe.  Right now, I just want to not think.  Not to adult.

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Is it work?  Maybe, yes.  Work right now is stressful and demands a lot.  Don’t get me wrong, I like my job.  I love my company and my colleagues.  But there are times when I no longer talk to my eldest daughter because she’s already asleep when I get home, and I’m so cranky when I prepare her for school the next day.  Those precious minutes I could/ should spend with her to make up for the time lost the previous night were spent going through the motion of taking a bath, dressing up etc.  I’m blessed because I have my aunt who lovingly prepares my kids’ baon.  Otherwise, this will be another thing on my plate.  Then there’s the feeling that my kids are growing up fast, and the next time I see them, they’re sooo tall already.  I don’t know where time went.

Is it mid-life crisis? Maybe, it’s not unheard of especially since I’m nearing 40.  The things that I find at the top of my list then aren’t there now. There are other things that I feel should be numbers 1, 2 and 3.

Let’s see.

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